I know loving me is hard. I can feel it sometimes when you look at me. As though you are trying so hard to understand what lies inside. I feel clear as glass when you are in the room. And the more you accept, the more you get. So please be careful what you wish for.
I know I send you a thousand words, most contradicting the others. I’m always moving and I feel hard to hold on to. Yet I seem stuck in the same place. Its quicksand really…and I heard I better move slowly.
Lately I’ve been slippery as silk and the past drips from me like water. I can feel myself wet and exposed, and this is all taking entirely too long. I’m saying prayers that your threshold for love can bare all I’ve lost. Because with each thing you give me, I whisper goodbye to another thing stolen from me. I forgot to tell you that you are loving me back to life. And I know it is taking entirely too long.
What I never showed and you’ve always seen, is just revealing itself to me. I’m circling it, dancing around it, peeking inside and mostly I’m scared of what I see. With each confusing glance, I look to you to explain it all because you are the only person who has never looked away.
I know the answers are out there, waiting for me. And I feel you urging me forward. But the only time I feel strong enough to move, is when I’m lost in you. Keep calling my name and please don’t let go of my hand.